Recap/Review: Scandal, S3 Episodes 14 & 15

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DOOM!

Rasha: OK, can we review the events of the last two episodes? The last one we reviewed was the after-shooting episode, which ended with the crying Beene and President.

Gemma: Yes. Which was lovely.

R: Where did the next one pick up?

G: Oh, it’s The One With the Grant Kids!

R: Oh Yes. In which Olivia is Not Family.

G: Yes!

R: Ouch. That sh*t was On The Nose.

G: And Charlie moves in with Quinn, and Adnan drugs Harrison. And B613 Command Past and Present have a talk about The Lonelies.

R: Damn. Romance is hell on this show. Not a damn moment of sweetness unless it’s a flashback.

G: It’s true. Or they pass so fast you can hardly blink. I mean, I know they won’t kill Fitz or Quinn so soon after James died, but is it wrong of me to hope a little bit for both?

R: OK, I really wanted Mellie to stab Fitz with the truth about his father. That’s kind of like killing.

G: Oh, I sooooo wanted that too.

R: Will they at least do that? They have to eventually. But when?!!

G: Will they bring those kids back again, and have them find out first?

R: Ugh, that ish will be UGLY.

G: It was nice in this last ep to finally hear a reference to the Langston daughter again. She’d kind of been forgotten in all this sh*t with her mom murdering her dad.

R: What did *that* conversation sound like? “Darling, I killed your dad because The Devil. I mean, he had a heart attack on the toilet.” That poor girl.

G: Indeed. Can’t have been an easy home even before all this.

R: She should get a plot role.

G: I’d be happy to see the Grant kids have more of an arc, too. I’ve been waiting to meet them for ages.

R: Bring all the babies!

G: Speak of that, WTF Olivia Momma coming up and sitting in a restaurant?

R: I KNOW. Only because Poppa Pope isn’t the big bad B613 anymore. She wouldn’t have been doing that.

G: It’s true.

R: Though I love them both reaching for their butter knives. Like the international assassin-spies they are.

G: That was hilarious.

R: That is family drama that Mr. and Mrs. Smith *aspired* to.

G: I never saw that, and I’m totally okay with my choice.

R: It remains one of my favorite movies, and about the limit of what I can watch in the genre of Rom Com.

G: I never thought I liked Mellie, but I did enjoy her being sexyhappy even for a couple of minutes.

R: Can we skip to the following episode and how much I LOVED Liv’s speech to Jon Tenney about how unlikely it would be for Mellie Grant to choose a life with him as the wife of a polisci professor at a second-tier liberal arts college?

G: Yes! That was a very good speech. One of those telegraphing-the-theme-of-the-show speeches, but nice.

R: Because that reminded me of the real burn with Mellie. There are some ways in which she is in a position she chose to stay in.

G: Well, ain’t nobody on this show exactly a victim. Or solely a victim, I should say.

R: And how much, like Liv, I do wish someone would choose love instead of power. And you know what, I really buy that Andrew loves Mellie, more so than I believe that Fitz loves Olivia. And Andrew is right that Fitz did some terrible things to Liv. I hope she keeps holding her boundaries.

G: She won’t. Unless he actually dies.

R: I guess it would be easier if your alternative fake boyfriend didn’t say things like, “I promise not to kill your friends.”

G: Yes. It would.

R: OMG, Abbie wants to do Leo! Now I’m even angrier at her for saying that mess about David being her Heart. Redhead, please.

G: Also, Huck can do better than Quinn.

R: He can do anyone better.

G: And that speech about tongue in my mouth vs. licking my face=THE WORST. EVER. GENUINELY THE WORST WRITING I’VE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW. I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY MADE AN ACTOR SAY THAT.

R: Agreed. Did it even make sense? Also, no matter how many times Charlie says it, it will not make Quinn Speshul. Quinn is that girl who’s always trying to figure out if she’s wearing the right shoes to be working in this office. And she hasn’t become something else, despite someone trying to convince us she haz Empowers.

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There are no social skillz in this van.

G: She’s dating a creepy stalker who became an assassin before he learned the concept of social cues, but that doesn’t even make me a little sad.

R: SHE ALSO CAN’T READ SOCIAL CUES. Which is what makes her speech to Huck so Absurd. It would actually make more sense for him to make it to her. If she were breaking into his house to make out with him. Which, in my mind, is how I’m rewriting this story. I’m just going to reverse every scene they’re in from now on.

G: I’m just going to imagine those scenes don’t exist.

R: What else can we say about these people? Harrison, why aren’t we seeing more of you?

G: Also, what was it Adnan gave him that he was perfectly recovered in the next ep and we didn’t even discuss it?

R: Ketamine? Could have been a sedative. Though rly, y’all, I’d aim for the thigh, because necks are made of very important arteries and spinal cords and such. #notsafe.

G: Wasn’t clear on how safe she was trying to be.

R: Doesn’t someone on this writer’s team run another show where they cover human anatomy?

G: But also: struggling to make sense of Adnan. This last ep she seemed completely bought in to Momma Pope’s madness.

R: I think it’s partly the pendulum swing of writing, and partly a lighterweight actor, who despite her considerable charisma cannot keep up with Khandi Alexander’s subtleties. I can’t believe I just used that last word to describe Olivia’s Momma. She who orders roses and gets bombs.

G: This is true. The actor is not fully in this game. You gotta have bigger guns than she does to play on a Rhimes show. But the writing seems deeply inconsistent.

R: Agreed. It feels like they have a long arc, but they’re not telling the actor about it, and the actor is hedging her bets by playing several dimensions at once.

G: So are they planning to kill the Prez, or is that just what B613 is assuming?

R: I don’t f*cking know. Jake is off his rocker.

G: He is, but so’s pretty much everyone, at this point. Pretty much the Command job description, I think. Poppa Pope is often similar.

R: Why would Adnan donate to the campaign just to kill him?

G: ‘Cause she’s in over her head?

R: I was guessing they were going to dirty the president by associating him with funds from known international criminals, and then take some action that would seem politically expedient for him, and have it look like they were in league with the president.

G: That sounds more interesting.

R: Maybe Sally Langston/Reston gets killed?

G: Well, Reston’s outta the race now. We won’t hear from him for a while.

R: I’d place bets on Sally. I have a hard time seeing her arc go past this season, much as I love Kate Burton.

G: I think the Daniel Douglas murder will be revealed by the end of the season.

R: Yes.

G: And some people’s asses will be covered, but not others’. That’s as far as I got.

R: Sally’s out by the end of the season. The potential betrayal with Andrew as VP is much thicker. Leo will sleep with Abbie, and David will….zzzz. B613 will not come to an end.

G: No, but it will take a new shape. Are they gonna make Quinn Command or some bullsh*t??

R: Hah! NO. DO NOT DO THAT SHONDA. PLEASE. Olivia’s momma will….?

G: Take out Adnan in the end.

R: Clearly. she’s going to come back around as the good guy at some point. Maybe next season, Olivia will have to collaborate with her. To take down B613? Why isn’t she just collaborating with her momma to begin with?

G: Because we’re still supposed to half-like Poppa Pope and find it confusing.

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