Rasha: Five things we wish would happen in Sleepy Hollow, a list from each of us. My #1: For once, Hawley doesn’t have a MacGuffin. He’s like, “naw, I’m fresh out. I got nothing.”
Gemma: That would be awesome. My A#1 is Katrina either becomes completely evil or leaves the show.
R: I would settle for #2. Katrina successfully uses magic to defeat the big bad of the week.
G: Even that would bore me, but I guess it would be useful. #2. A guest star has some connection to the plot of a previous episode, or a guest star actually returns to further the overarching narrative.
R: Sigh, yes. All of Ichabod’s friends are supernatural murder victims.
G: One would almost believe he didn’t really have friends.
R: If one were reasonable. Aside: I was not getting on the Abigail Adams/Abigail Mills train this week. Maybe it’s because I find Michelle Trachtenberg insufferable, but it was an awkward and forced attempt to be all twee about Friends Through History. If we’re going to parallel Abbie with someone from revolutionary times, it better damn well be Grace Dixon, her actual ancestor.
G: OMG MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG IS AN EFFIN TERRIBLE ACTOR.
R: We should write a poem. Not today.
G: I want Michelle Trachtenberg and Katia Winter to go have their own show and then I wouldn’t watch it.
R: They would be friends.
We could hate-not-watch it together.
G: Yay! Anyway.
R: #3. And this may be contentious, but: Abbie shows some vulnerability, and trusts someone because she wants to believe in them. Maybe that ruins her tough character, and I don’t need to see it right away, but I hope for it, for her.
G: Ooh, I like that one.#3. Macy actually returns. I mean, I hope we haven’t seen her because Amandla Stenberg is doing awesome work elsewhere [ED: Seems she might be shooting a pilot?], but I still want her on the show again.
R: Praise Kindred. Also, #4. Can we get The Kindred back?!!
G: Honestly, all the Monsters of the Week kinda blur for me.
R: NO, THIS ONE WAS AWESOME AND DIFFERENT. It was basically an ancestor-golem for Abbie. I live for the scene where it glances back at Abbie and its all like “I got this thing with Headless.”
G: Well, I’d be happy with an awesome monster coming back, in that I am also in favor of Things Coming Back.
R: What have things come to that I was glad, relieved, satisfied, to see Irving and Jenny featured in 2 EPISODES IN A ROW?!
G: #4. Jenny gets an A plot for an episode or two.
R: I cosign an episode featuring Jenny’s journey. Maybe when #5. Orlando Jones directs an episode. Has that already happened?
G: No, none of the actors have directed an ep yet. But they do give Washington Irving a writing credit, which is kind of cute.
R: What’s your 5?
G: #5. Either integrate Reyes into actual storylines or cut her loose. With a strong preference for the former. But I tire of her as this abstracted figure of authority with weird fluctuating sympathies.
R: Yeah, they can do better. Although, with Irving in this ambiguous soul-state (and also, wtf with talking about “has his soul been *darkened*”?! I’m done with y’all. Nikki Beharie was like: I can’t believe I have to say this), and the possibility of exculpatory evidence, he could be cleared to return as precinct Captain and introduce a different tension with Team Witness.
G: I would like that. If we must have Katrina, I would like some complex plot in which she is somehow compelled to say his soul is not being puppetted by Henry even though it actually is, and then we get into a good complex power dynamic at the precinct where Irving is fighting his soul-possessor to be himself and is in conflict with Reyes and Team Witness doesn’t know how to handle it.
G: But I think I’m still sticking to “The town of Sleepy Hollow is doomed to become Purgatory by the end of the season.”
R: I think I still don’t know what that means, but we’ll have to wait and see. All I can think about when you say that is how bad the last season of Lost was.
G: I never watched Lost. Which is a choice I am okay with.
R: Yes, you are.
G: I have a hard time dealing with the Point of a show being its Mysteriousness (which is different from Mystery). And sometimes this show skirts dangerously close to that, lately.
R: Can we come back to that in the context of this week’s episode? We should probably talk about it, the one in which Ichabod and Katrina go on a date to the historical society, where they see a bunch of stuff from K’s old friends Abigail and John Adams, and then a murderous painter jumps out of a supernatural painting prison and kills some people we’ve just met and therefore don’t really care about. Until Abbie shows up at the last minute with platinum bullets made from the Gates of Hell that Jenny got out of a monster corpse from Hawley. Oh yeah, and Irving’s back.
G: Ah, yes. That one. I think that’s where the Mysterious Problem comes in. I’m a little over the victims being people we’ve never met, yet we’re somehow supposed to care that Ichabod was friends with them offscreen maybe. Plus, again, “dying” is not really a word of that much significance on this show.
R: Btw, I don’t believe Jenny had that big of problem getting those bullets out of that corpse, though it was nice to see the sisters banter.
G: Yeah, agreed.
R: The Jenny we know and love has been digging Hell-bullets out of zombies since she was a tween.
G: And also out of, like, non-supernatural war zones. We seem to be forgetting her mercenary past these days. But I did really like the painting trying to pull people in. It was almost as cool as that time there was an evil puddle of water in the library.
R: Yes! I thought so too. The visual design department on this show gets props for their neat work. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of impressionist swirling paint strokes as a way of blending someone coming into/out of a painting.
G: It was pretty fantastic.
R: What this show reminds me of is when I used to play with my best friend Alan Kennedy at recess in kindergarten. We were detectives. And we’d find a white rock and deduce “the culprit is a bird with a white beak!”– from nowhere to wherethef*ck seems to be the arc of every episode. I am really riding on the emotional furrows of Orlando Jones’ brow.
G: Ski the Brow. But yes, I agree. I’m feelin’ the Vulture recapper from last week, who said that if the show’s not really going to commit to the scope of its storyline and concept, it should just shut up about it and become “Law & Order: Metaphysical Victims Unit.” The Irving storyline is really our only hope for a big picture.
R: Or Grace Dixon! If they would bring back the sisters-lineage storyline, that would rock the TVbox. They’ve mined so much story, but I begin to fear that only a small percentage of their writing team can hold all of it in mind.
G: Or perhaps there’s some back-and-forth from the network.
R: They should not be stupid about this show. It is too many things.
G: Yeah, I want some Grace Dixon. Both because I want Jenny and Abbie to get their place in the history part of the show and because I could tell from that woman speaking about three lines that she is a better actor than Michelle Trachtenberg.
G: So, in sum: the A plot was a holding pattern, Jenny’s more of an experienced bad@ss than that but I did like the logical conclusion re: leaving one bullet in the zombie corpse, and I want Irving to be both exonerated and fighting his demonic possession.
R: And #MoreGrace, #MoreMacy. We did it before, we can do it again.