Rasha: Soooo, BEST CHRISTMAS EVAH!?
Gemma: This just in—How to Get Away With Murder: YOU DON’T.
R: Also known as WTF Happened to Rudy? ‘Cause those claw marks over the bed are definitely indicative of a rough moving out process.
G: He was trapped in and scraping the walls!! Rebecca will soon reveal her evil. Do we think she actually did kill Lila?
R: Did she kill Rudy? I kinda think she did. Or do people around her just die all the time?
G: Is she a Great Poisoner?
R: Maybe? She doesn’t seem to have the subtle knowledge of chemistry required. I’m not into her Lisbeth Salander-lite vibe.
G: Yeah. Similarity ends at hair. My mother used to say that Kalinda was basically a middle-class Lisbeth Salander, which intrigued me.
R: That I would buy more. Also: BROWN.
R: Although, I would take even odds in a Salander-Sharma fight.
G: I’m just curious about the circumstances that led to a Salander-Sharma fight.
R: It’s all a ruse, to distract their enemies. Whoa, can they please be a team instead of fighting? PLEASE, SOMEONE MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
G: Fanfic was MADE for this, people. But we digress.
R: Ah, yes, Rudy. Lila. I don’t care if Rebecca killed Lila.
G: Well, for Annalise’s sake, I do. And Marcia Gay Harden’s.
R: If Bonnie killed her, however, that would be awesome.
G: Ooh, I sooooo want Bonnie to have killed Lila! Great idea! #TeamBonnie, once again.
R: (The Fug Girls are also #TeamBonnie. All that skulking can’t just go to waste.) What do you think the Rebecca as killer angle changes for Annalise? I kind of think she is happen to have Sam gone for reasons totally extra to Lila’s death. Dude, that man so beyond extra in their fight scene in the midseason finale. That was foul and poisonous.
G: Yes, that was definitely toxic. But I think after the opening sequence this week, “happy” is a stretch.
R: Well, we have previously registered our concerns about Annalise’s tendency to drink vodka from a water glass.
G: Also note that V. Davis is pretty much the only actor who could pull off that opening sequence and have me still interested by the end.
R: We sing her praises every week. I write about TV because of Viola Davis. Viola Davis is my strength, I shall not want.
G: Indeed. But as to the ensemble: we like Laurel more and Connor a li’l less after this week, yeah?
R: It’s a good late-game play for us to see Laurel’s family after having so little background on her other than Annalise and Bonnie’s assessments that she’s privileged and idealistic.
G: I mean, I’m not fully un-bored by Laurel, but I’m more inclined to give her another chance.
R: I appreciated her mic-drop at family dinner. It was fully dropped. In Spanish.
G: That was solid. And I have to say, in terms of TWAT-TV, I enjoyed that we met Connor’s family and the issue was not “OMG HE’S GAY!”
R: Yes. His sister was great, and it gave us a sweet moment where Connor ventures to talk about Oliver as his boyfriend. Which could even give me tiny, tender, sprouting feelings, except that Connor chews through those sprouts and the drywall and car bumpers throughout the rest of the episode.
R: He’s twitchy enough to really sell the drug addiction.
G: I am still not convinced that the way Oliver kissed Connor actually happens, but I really felt for Oliver in that scene. It seems a Shondaland staple style of making out, but I don’t know where else it exists.
R: They might as well play the “Welcome to Shondaland” theme song at moments like that.
G: Ooh, can we commission someone to write that song!?!?
R: I think we commission ourselves. Although, honestly, Funky Dineva would do it better. She seems busy these days, I miss her.
G: I bet she would come back to write the Theme Song to Shondaland.
R: Maybe we can write her a fan letter. Back to this matter at hand: Best Christmas Ever? or Best Christmas EVER?
R: I mean, Annalise got a new case!
G: She did! And it was honestly rather SVU-esque.
R: You know, if you’re going to go wild, go all the way.
G: Yes. “My husband has two women locked in a basement.” GO BIG OR GO HOME.
R: Annalise was ready to catch that hot potato. It was like when your pet brings you a dead animal, and instead of being all like: eww, that’s ewww, you’re like: SHINY! Annalise is all, Bring me those women locked in basements! I will free them and you!
G: And then I will learn that you are putting roofies in their milk and realize that we have gone well beyond Stockholm syndrome!
R: I don’t know what hybrid fuel-mix Annalise is running in her engine, but at least a good part of it is a whopping dose of life trauma. She so wanted to see herself in this woman.
G: And then in this child. That’s where my antennae went up.
R: Whew. That was such a tiny moment on screen, and so big emotionally. I think it opens this door for what it means for Annalise to lie about going to visit her mother, and for the little muurdering lawyerettes to lie about her mom dying. I was disappointed that Marcia Gay Harden didn’t bring more heat on Annalise’s past.
G: I think we have time for that still. We have not seen the last of MG Harden.
R: And she’s a psychologist, so ….
G: … she plays the long game.
R: Do we really believe that sister Hannah believed that Annalise was hiding Sam?? I want someone to be harder for Annalise to lie to than that.
G: Not sure. I did love the construction of their relationship, actually– how the end of last week led us to believe there’d be an Instant $hitfest and instead we got actual familial relationships. This show meets with reality in the oddest ways.
R: Yes, and it makes more sense energetically, as an actor, for MGH to play Hannah as a gentle-voiced but iron-insistent presence. Talk about unmoveable object. Meet Viola Davis.
G: I don’t think that Hannah fully believes Annalise.
R: No way.
G: There is still a great deal brewing under that surface. Especially now that there is a piece of corpse in a landfill.
R: Dude, when your intuition tells you to take the body to an incinerator, you just have to ignore what other people say and listen to your own feelings. Trust yourself, is what I’m saying. Okay, Wes?
G: Wes is another one heavily loaded with trauma.
R: Whew. Yes. I was almost hoping we’d get more family backstory on him, but he spent Xmas with Rebecca.
G: Which is itself a form of backstory.
R: Then there’s the throwaway comment he makes when all the lawyerettes are talking on the cold porch about how they can’t afford to lose their shit in public all the time and talk about the murder on places like Annalise’s porch. Where he worries that he’s going crazy, because of the nightmares.
G: I felt that.
R: In the context of his mother, it lands a blow.
G: I think this ep was actually very astute about the way each lawyerette frays at the edges.
R: And then, there were the Ridiculous lines in this episode
G: Yes. Psychologically astute, dialogically ludicrous.
R: “You hwurt my fweelings,” Asher to Bonnie.
G: I have to say, I bought the clunkiness of that line from Asher. It seemed exactly how he would say it. I just didn’t buy Bonnie taking it seriously.
R: Yeah. Then Oliver to Connor, after that sudsy kiss (I actually liked that detail)—
G: (The sudsiness?)
R: (Yes.) “How drugs are for you, you’re that for me.”
G: I am a LOOOOOOOVE ADDICT.
R: Because there’s no word or words in the English language that could say that. Could he not just use any of the many words to describe addiction?
G: It was basically “I wish I knew how to quit you.” There are certain things that gay men in media can no longer say, CASE IN POINT.
R: I wish he had just straight up (ahem) quoted the line instead of pussyfooting (cough) around it.
G: Is that what they’re calling it now?
R: Well, I listen to what the kids talk about on the bus. I try to stay in touch.
G: The only bit we haven’t hit upon is Michaela.
R: Dude, I was so glad when Aidan came out and said that he didn’t want to marry her. I was kind of disappointed when he qualified it with a “when you’re like this.”
G: Well, we don’t have a strong sense of what he’s like. He could be an @$$hole, and they could be compatible most of the time.
R: Yes, it’s true. Aidan is kind of a cipher except for our projections of how sh*ttily he was treated by Michaela upon the revelations of his youthful dalliances with gents.
G: Yes. Although I was pleased to see that treated as unreasonable this time around.
R: Word. But Michaela seems the most unravelled. Right? And therefore is trying to play it the most cool.
G: I dunno. I think it is difficult to scale the levels of unravelled at this point.
R: So unravelry count is: Connor – twitchy; Michaela – brittle; Wes – haunted; Laurel – steely? Did girl get her groove back?
G: How Laurel Got Her Groove Back: MURDER.
G: And Annalise – devastated.
R: I feel like the rest of the season is going to be peeling back the onion of her devastation.
G: That seems a reasonable thought.
R: And also, Rudy is the new Lila. Except we still don’t know who really killed Lila. Did RUDY KILL LILA?