Rasha: So that was… blerm.
Gemma: It was like everything I’ve ever wanted executed as poorly as humanly possible.
R: The warlock battle was full of Rizzoli and Isles-level inane blocking and decisions. Like, why did they run away from him, only to come back? And then why didn’t they just stay with Katrina and form a guard at her back? Since those demons were so easy to explode like blood balloons with a single bullet/straight pin.
G: Ulgh, for serious. Buffy the Headless Slayer indeed. And I have been dying for Evil!Katrina, because at least then Katrina would be something, but we symbolize her control of magic with AN EFFING DAISY???
R: It was like she was a Disney princess, going from boring white to sassy magenta to deadly petrified stone. She also just *stood there* while he reassembled the Grimoire. Which, btw, was way too small for a Grimoire.
G: Is that a mythology you knew before?
G: I was unaware of them.
R: They are collections of spells, and they’re usually Oxford-dictionary-sized.
G: Well, it seemed like this was just kind of the one essential spell to create eeeeeeeeeevil.
R: It’s the Cooking Light of Grimoires. 10 simple spells in 30 minutes!
G: I am also having a hard time deconstructing the social implications of their take on the Salem Witch Trials, possibly because it didn’t actually have considered social implications. I used to argue for the racial and sociocultural self-awareness of this show. Like, just a few months ago.
R: The Salem Witch trials apocryphal history reminded me of GamerGate and MRA ish. Where dudes are all sad because they’re nice guys who aren’t rewarded for the fine knives they make for ladies and then turn on everyone, while essentially dooming the people of whom they are a part.
G: Yeah, the MRA text was certainly in there. I guess I just mean what its relationship to the actual documented history of the Salem Witch Trials was supposed to be.
R: But Katrina’s being all like “my mother never let me forget” felt her parading a history of persecution for points in the Oppression Olympics.
G: Huh. That didn’t get anywhere near there for me.
R: Well, I’m sensitive to white characters talking to black characters about the hard times they’ve suffered. What about the Salem Witch Trials actual history did you see missing?
G: Like I said, I’m having a hard time pinning it down. Tituba. The social system that surrounded the characters and the accusations. Youth.
R: Well, the complexity of that clusterf*cked period was certainly not captured here. I have read about witch trials in the broader period, but not Salem specifically. The Crucible is the only source I have for individual names for that series of events in Salem.
G: I used to read a lot about the Salem Witch Trials specifically when I was a child/adolescent, though not as much recently. All the individuals in The Crucible are historically documented, meaning S. Osborne was one of the first three accused, and certainly far more socially marginal within the community than this young woman was portrayed.
R: Well, perhaps we can wrap with: they introduced “the warlock all witches fear” only to have Katrina fail to kill him with magic before Irving kills him to dust. So, guess he won’t be coming back, this super-fearsome warlock.
G: But Katrina got turned on to eeeeeevil! So he will live on in her!
R: Like a pansy. Or a daisy, rather. Sigh.
G: And his Grimoire will live on in Henry and Irving!
R: They couldn’t even get that right. I was hoping it would be Katrina in the woods meeting Henry.
G: Katrina can’t meet people in the woods.
G: The one thing I admit I liked was Henry’s “why are you hitting yourself?” moment in the parking lot.
R: Yes, I actually enjoyed seeing Henry back.
G: I love Noble. I love Henry. Even if he is reduced to Freudian daddy issues rather than complex societal narratives.
R: They’re clearly setting him up to reunite with Katrina and run a motel/carve Moloch figurines/fix leaky faucets/KILL, KILL, KILL.
G: Yeppers. Hopefully that will end Crane and Katrina’s marriage? ‘Cause then I will be super happy. That’s an exaggeration. But way happier than I was at any point during the last couple of eps.
R: You will be less constantly nauseated.
R: Ok, dude. IRVING. ????!!?!?! Discuss.
G: I am honestly speechless. None of it made sense.
R: He’s just seamlessly evil now? Or like, he loves his new start with his family, but EVIL is his DAY JOB?
G: If he knew he was evil when he was resurrected, why was he so confused at the grocery store? If he didn’t, and he went and found Henry or was called to him and then learned, why was Henry being all depressed in a motel room when he knew he had such an excellent soulless minion in operation already? Is he going to destroy Cynthia and Macy and not care?
R: No. I don’t know.
G: Probably not. We don’t really do that high-stakes on this show anymore. But, seriously, when? Did he know he wouldn’t appear in the mirror? Is Katrina still in touch with Henry and they been keeping THAT secret from us too? The logic eludes me.
R: Plffft. Remember when Macy was possessed at the end of season 1 and there was a big ol’ supernatural-off at the safehouse? Those were the good old days.
R: Remember “Mama”?
G: People acted on their caring instead of having poorly written dialogue about it.
G: I remember “Mama.” But “Mama” was an oasis in what I will now officially declare the desert of this season.
R: When Ichabbie were wondering way too leisurely through the warehouse, they were talking way too much to be hunting a demon. When did they start talking all the time?
G: When the show stopped having subtext? Just a guess.
R: I don’t think that’s what Jenny meant when she said they should communicate. Also, I don’t think Jenny wanted to give that advice. Can we start #RealTalkJenny? Example: Katrina, don’t retreat after he releases the demons. #RealTalkJenny.
G: Sure, let’s do it.
R: Ichabbie, less talking, more shooting. #RealTalkJenny
G: I would be ready for Jenny to save this show, ’cause ain’t nobody else going to do it.
R: Dude, Katrina was totally like that friend who gets moody and then ruins the night of hanging out. How weird was it when she got all huffy with Ichabod about how “magic isn’t just like a gun you can reload, with your d*ck”? None of us believes for a moment she was actually tired because she didn’t do anything.
G: I am feeling crushed by this ep. Because it was all the things I wanted and they did all of them wrong.
R: I know.
G: I wanted Evil!Katrina, but I wanted her to actually discover it and take to it in a way that deceived us.
G: I wanted Henry back, but I wanted him to rise from wherever he had gone and have been controlling Irving in a subtle, deceptive way. I wanted Irving to discover his own evil rather than just say minion things; I wanted him to be deceived by his own situation.
G: In other words, THERE IS NOT ENOUGH DECEPTION ON THIS SHOW. Dramatic irony, people.
R: There’s also ZERO DISCOVERY. Every week it’s like Instant Grimoire, Instant Evil Vampire Godmother, Instantly Evil Irving. There’s no space to feel any suspense or terror or dread or investment or humor … or … my heart feels cold and dark.
G: Yeah. I am still feeling like “Law & Order: Metaphysical Victims Unit” was a good summary.
R: I so wanted to be able to carry the shows we’re doing now over into next season.
G: SERIOUSLY. I loved S1, I was so excited that you’d found it. And now the writing is just crumbling.
R: They need to clean house in the writer’s room. Or stage a coup against the producers if they’re the problem.
G: Shame about the episode.
R: Damn shame.