Gemma: Okay, that was a better game of MARTYRDOME than TGW could ever play.
Rasha: Yes, because this show has higher emotional intelligence than almost any other show on the air right now, and therefore has the good sense to call both MARTYRDOME contenders out on their selfishness.
G: Okay, now for some questions: a1) When did this Catherine-Philip conspiracy begin? b2) Why does Catherine have a picture of Wes’s family?
R: Wait, before that, can we have vindications? Philip is not a sociopath!
G: YES THAT IS CORRECT. Well-vindicated!!!
R: Also: CATHERINE TOTALLY CONSPIRED TO KILL HER PARENTS. I KNEW IT WAS HER, THOSE PORTRAITS ARE CREEPY, I WILL NOT SAVE YOUR FEELINGS CATHERINE.
G: Also, Michaela had an orgasm, and then the gun went off in the second act! I’m just saying.
R: Well, now we have TWO guns to go off. One of which Future Bonnie is in possession of.
G: This is true, although I’m open to the possibility of it all being the same gun passed from hand to hand.
R: You’ve been hanging out at AK’s house too long. Definitely 2 guns. Unless Levi also knows Philip/Catherine/Caleb from the orphanage. You’re right, there really are too many orphans for them not to be connected somehow. The orphan density is too high. ‘Cause then there’s also Michaela and Wes…AUGH.
G: The question of how Catherine knows what Wes’s family looks like is the most pressing to me right now.
R: FOR REAL. Did Wes even know his father? I don’t remember him talking about a dad at all.
G: Well, the dad’s never come up, but Wes was pretty little in that portrait. I’ll admit I was totes ready to be vindicated myself when Caleb told Michaela he had to tell her something.
R: I was almost ready to be thrown too. But I was also waiting for Creepy Catherine to walk in on the two of them in corpus delecti.
G: Is that what they’re calling it now?
R: How about that sex montage, hah? Everybody but Wes was getting some!
G: Yes, says the woman who is watching this IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OFFICE.
G: It was actually a pretty excellent sex montage. As network sex montages go.
R: I feel like that sex montage was a little too Colors of Bennetton in some kind of pointed way like: All Love is Love. Which, you know, I’m down for the cause, but somehow the meta message was getting in the way of me enjoying the characters’ enjoyment.
G: Huh. I didn’t feel that way. I just thought a lot of POC and queer folks were getting laid, and I was glad about that. And someone is clearly watching Connor and Oliver, so whatever.
R: You’re right that there were many lovely aspects to the sex-collage: Michaela finally got her big O, Oliver gets to be naughty. Frank eats dessert first. Nate wants to know Annalise. Lots of good loving goes on in the middle of some messed-up realities for our characters. I think I felt what you complain about M. Weiner doing to you, like standing over your shoulder being: see what I did there.
G: That makes sense. I didn’t feel it, but I can see where it would come from, definitely. I’m not sure what Nate wanting to know Annalise actually means … it doesn’t seem like it can go anywhere good, given the flashforwards.
R: Right. AND MAMA IS DEFINITELY COMING BACK. PLEASE YES MOAR.
R: A THOUSAND TIMES YAAAAASSSSSSSS!!! I love how AK got herself all Casually Dolled Up like she was going to send a flirty sext to Dark Phoenix, but then texted it to her Mama to show her a vision of natural beauty.
G: It’s true. There was some interesting mirror action going on in this ep.
R: Is this a sign that AK is in trouble? She only calls her Mom when she’s in trouble.
G: What’s coming besides Mama? Sinclair’s def going to find a way to threaten Bonnie, but who is pulling Sinclair’s strings??
R: Sinclair… has an anxiety disorder maybe? And I’d guess that it’s Judge Millstone who’s calling her, because they’ll be in league to keep AK from prosecuting him and so that Sinclair can keep her job.
G: Yes to Sinclair’s anxiety disorder. I guess that would get Bonnie and Asher back in league right quick, if it is Judge Millstone. (I was so skeeved out by what Nate did with Philip’s records, but I guess I have a particular sensitivity there. And I guess he can change it back pretty easily.)
R: That is also improbable given how secure databases work. There will be a record that Nate accessed Philip’s record and Scott Fuller’s record.
G: Sigh. WTF, Nate.
R: I don’t know if Bonnie and Asher do get back together, not really.
G: I don’t know if they do either, but they get aligned enough to kinda be rescuing each other in a couple of days, so they both have to be threatened by the same force.
R: I’d guess he wants to, but she stays hardened/to protect her wounds. She looked pretty mercenary in the future forwards. Much like the Bonnie That Killed Rebecca. Or as I like to think of her: Little Bo Salander.
G: Dissociative is possibly the word, given that we’re going all MI all over the place on this show now.
R: Maybe. Bonnie was definitely pulling an Andre on Empire style shower cower.
R: Is that the universal metaphor, btw, for psychic trauma?
G: Shower cowers? Maybe. Certainly a widespread trope these days.
R: I suppose it makes for good visuals. Ok, I’m almost ready to return to your questions from the beginning. Sorry to delay, but there was just so much in this episode! Like Frank, who totally took some money that was not his to rush that DNA order… That money really does belong to the mob, or someone that Frank is scared of, and he is clearly trying to forget about what he did.
G: Oh my god, the sub-motto of this show is That Is Going to Bite You In the Ass Someday!
R: How To Get Away With Murder…and Still Pay For It Your Whole Damn Life.
G: Also, I got zero ideas about whence springs Frank’s loyalty to Annalise.
R: She helped him on a mob case/to get out of the mob. She’s his protection even more than he’s hers.
G: Yeah, but how is she maintaining aforesaid protection? I understand nothing.
R: She’s got some evidence or something. Or she sent someone away on a technicality. And I bet Sam knew it too and it’s why Frank murdered for him. Also, I think we’ll see Sam in flashbacks after the mid-season break. That’s how last season went: flashforwards in the first half, flashbacks in the second.
G: It’s true, that is the design.
R: Ok, I’m ready for your excellent questions!
G: Catherine and Philip: WHERE IN HISTORY?
R: I don’t know. It seems like Catherine and Philip are the actual incest murder siblings, the Originals (if Caleb will forgive me).
G: That seems possible, yes.
R: She found out? Then went looking? He went looking?
G: If he went looking I can’t see a reason he’d’ve found one of them and not the other.
R: They met at the grocery store where he works and she was like: you look just like my adoptive father, except all inbred.
G: Ah, yes. Naturally. Or … god, I just had an awful plot thought, but not without precedent on this show…
G: … adoptive father abused Catherine. And not Caleb. And Caleb did not know. So she had reasons to want to go after him that Caleb did not have. Certainly it would fit thematically with the season. Hence her own research, separating her from Caleb in spite of their bond.
R: Ugh, yeah. I would not be surprised. And the murders were brutal. Dude, Philip killed his racist incest mom!
G: Also, how’d Catherine negotiate ten years when Caleb could only get thirty? She must’ve had something to offer Sinclair that Caleb did not.
R: Oh man, are we going to feel like Philip is justified in being a murderer? is Philip going to get AK or Dark Phoenix as his attorney in the second half?
G: Well, Dark Phoenix is def going to return defending somebody. I think you’re right about tthat.
R: Given the team’s plan involved dropping Catherine in her bloody pajamas in the woods, it seems like they’re either protecting her in a very complicated way or setting her up to take a fall. And WHERE IS PHILIP IN THE FUTURE?
G: Okay, I’m going to offer a suspicion that Philip and Frank somehow have a past connection that they needed not to reveal. But I seriously have nothing to base that on. The conspiracy is Philip and Frank’s, not Frank and the team’s… ooooorrrrr Catherine killed Philip. ACK THIS SHOW IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND.
R: Bonnie is clear up front that the team has a plan they committed to. It’s hard to see Frank totally going off on his own. I don’t see him and Philip being connected, though Philip could probably hack his brain. I guess we’ll have to wait for the mid-season finale next week!
G: THAT’S NEXT WEEK? HOLY SH*T.
R: Yeah, they’re only doing a 15 ep run, per Viola Davis’ negotiations.
G: I guess I’m glad everyone got laid, then.
R: Yeah, strap in, strap on, Scoobies, it’s going to be a wild ride next week!!!