Diablog: Jane the Virgin, S2 E4

Jane and Lina: besties.
That’s how you know your girl is there for you: she’ll hang on the bathroom floor while you pump alcoholic breast milk.

Rasha: I love that this was an episode (at least ostensibly) about friendship.

Gemma: Yes. And it almost worked, in that Lina had almost been enough of a presence for me to buy it as a story basis—not quite, but close.

R: I know! I was so excited when I read the episode summary. And then the emotional payoff was mostly Michael proving that he knows Jane well enough to remember her talent show dance.

To be fair, we will always remember it now, too.
To be fair, we will never forget it either.

This episode was also about lurve triangulation and Scientology.

G: Scientology was a worthwhile scandalous secret. I hope it goes further.

From El Presidente to Sea Org!
From El Presidente to Sea Org!

R: I think we’ll get some mileage out of it, given all the secrets that Rogelio has and which are right there just waiting for someone to watch them (XO!). How did they know to time this episode with Leah Remini’s dish on Scientology?

G: And the trailer full of bunnies!

R: Oh god, I thought of you. They were unreasonably fluffy.

G: Although I have to admit, I did not buy that that upside-down baby-cradled bun was chill being held like that for that long.

Yeah … there is no way this bunny is content with this posture.
Yeah … there is no way this bunny is content with this posture.

R: And so accommodating to being held. Yeah. I did not either.

G: It looked like it was played by a real bunny, though … <shurg>

R: I know, SO FLUFFY!

G: What was its name again? I can’t remember.

R: Consuela.

G: Right! Anyway. I will be intrigued to see Xo watching Rogelio’s big reveal.

The suspense is KILLING Xo! (Also, us.)
The suspense is KILLING Xo! (Also, us.)

R: It will be a couple of episodes, I hope we get at least one comedy of errors episode where she struggles not to watch it.

G: Well, we’ll get at least half of one, but I bet the narrator will speed us through that.

R: Curse you, disc 142 part C! What do you think will be on it?! Like secret-baby kind of secrets?

G: This is one I don’t dare anticipate. It could be heartbreaking or hilarious, and I do not know which.

R: I know. I hope they go for something that enters the plot rather than just something silly.

G: You mean like Heidi von Ocher?

Perhaps a red herring … perhaps a conspiracy …
Perhaps a red herring … perhaps a conspiracy …

R: Heidi was very silly, but spoke German very well. I kind of loved the lack of subtitles.

G: I gotta admit I did enjoy her sexin’ it up with Luisa.

R: Yes, that was great. Finally, Luisa gets to take action and win.

Get yours, Luisa.
Get yours, Luisa.

Oh dude, and how ‘bout that secret-not-secret messaging site “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”?

Every rose has its thorn. Extraordinary subtlety, that.
Every Sin Rostro has its thorn. Extraordinary subtlety, that.

G: Okay, so Heidi von Ocher is probably not as innocent as she seems? Perhaps she is part of this team leading the German kidnappers …? and then we are going to see Luisa pulled between them …?

R: I know, what is happening? Were these German dudes working for Mutter, is Heidi Mutter, are the German dudes pretending to work for Mutter? So confusing, but I am looking forward to meeting some OG lady matriarch.

G: If all our crime bosses are lesbians, I’m not sure how I’m going to react yet.

R: Dude, I might be okay with that.

G: I will have to decide when the time comes.

R: Like, HTGAWM has bad@ss lesbian attorneys, and JTV has bad@ss lesbian crime bosses. I feel you though, given how Luisa has been mishandled and so far, wasted.

G: I’m not sure I’m prepared to call Rose “bad@ss” just yet. But I’ll take that under consideration.

R: She was pretty stone-cold. And effective. Maybe too slippery to be officially BAMF-certified, but I am willing to wait for Morena Baccarin. I hope I’m not waiting in vain. Do you think Luisa will still love Rose if she has a different face?

G: I think so, but I think she might not believe it’s real.

It probably gets tough to trust your own perceptions when no one else can.
It probably gets tough to trust your own perceptions when no one else can.

R: Hunh, how so? Like believe someone is pretending to be Rose?

G: There’s been a lot of attention given to questioning Luisa’s perceptions and statements given her past as an addict, so I could see her saying someone was Rose and no one believing it, so she didn’t quite believe herself.

R: Ah, I see. I would like this show to deal with Rafael’s total lack of believing his sister. I can understand being hurt by lies before, especially if he’s the younger sibling and was compared unfavorably to her for a long time, but still.

Rafael is stuck in skepticism.
Rafael is stuck in skepticism.

G: My understanding is that it’s something that happens to a lot of family members of folks with long-term addiction issues, and that the lying practice is pretty habitual for addicts. It’s just hard to maintain on a show like this, where everything that happens to everyone is, in point of fact, unbelievable, and the show’s general strength is that it makes us believe it all emotionally.

R: I know. It’s a believable reaction for Rafael, I guess we just see too much from Luisa’s perspective to not have at least a bit of a struggle on his part. There will have to be consequences at some point for him not believing Luisa. Cause dude, there are too many actual realities of queer folks struggling with addiction for it to just be a slapstick punchline. Anyway. What about Michael’s new partner, who is clearly part of an internal affairs investigation? Also, I thought her interest in the ladysex during the interrogations was funny.

G: Yes, she played it well. I mean, Jane and Michael are literally the only people on this show whose motivations are actually what they say they are. And maybe Alba. So she was going to be part of some conspiracy of something.

R: Will the IA officer have an affair with Luisa? That seems wishful.

G: Can Luisa figure into a story in some way other than having an affair?

R: That is a much better question. Sigh.

G: Okay, since I have to acknowledge it: I am #TeamMichael.

They're making it tough not to be these days.
They’re making it tough not to be these days.

R: I know. This season is really setting us up to root for him hard. What I thought when she got home was: why can’t she have both?

G: I would be truly delighted by that, but I don’t think the show can manage it.

R: No, not a show that starts out with a hardline commitment to no sex before marriage as the central plot point.

Vertex of the perhaps-not-so-eternal triangle.
Vertex of the perhaps-not-so-eternal triangle.

G: I have to admit, I have speculated on how they’re going to swing retaining her virginity over the course of another season after this, and I have gotten nowhere. I mean, they’re doing a good job of distracting me from that question overall, but it’s going to get tough

R: Yeah. I think she might fall for Michael and then he might die. And then she’ll be la virgen widow Jane. I know that’s dire, and not what you want to hear.

G: Do you think this show can hold the death of a major character? There have definitely been intimations of his death, but I don’t know that we’re equipped for it tonally.

Can we handle losing this guy? He's so useful!
Can we handle losing this guy? He’s so helpful!

R: I could see it. What’s harder to see is how they’d extract Michael from the plot, given how important his detective work is to the story.

G: Well, we either develop a relationship with this new woman, or Nadine is like double-undercover. And has an affair with Luisa.

R: Absent one of Jane’s paramours dying or being put in a coma, I don’t know how they can maintain the virginity into a third season. Maybe she’s just too successful a writer and has no time for Love. I have a hard time seeing Nadine being Mata Hari.

G: Me too. But I could almost see this show pulling it off. You’re probably right, though. I wonder if there’s a way we’d lose both paramours by the end of this season.

R: Not unless they move Jane’s whole life context. The detective work and the Marbella are too central to the action of the story.

We spend even more time in the Marbella than Petra does.
We spend even more time in the Marbella than Petra does.

Dude, I’m relieved every time we get through an episode with no product placement for #BigBoxStoreRuns.

G: That’s good stuff, yeah. They seem pretty tame on the product placement, though I am not always the greatest at perceiving it in the first place.

R: They did shout out a ride-sharing service that will not be named, but it is just insidious, and definitely distracting. The episode where Jane comes over to Raf’s and it looks like an IKEA catalogue? I was getting flashbacks to the satire of Fight Club, except the show was being sincere. We practically got SKU numbers for the items in the baby’s nursery.

G: Fair enough. Okay, I do want to take a moment before we end to give the show credit for the physical realities of pregnancy and baby-having. It’s been doing some good stuff with that, very casually.

R: I was just typing that!! You know what I have appreciated about this show? How upfront its portrayal of pregnancy and new motherhood is. It is very feminist in that way.

Jane deals with far more post-pregnancy realities than most TV moms.
Jane deals with far more post-pregnancy realities than most TV moms.

G: Seriously. And it’s so smooth. It’s not trying to preach it, it’s just making it work with the story it’s telling.

R: More so than any portrayal of pregnancy I’ve seen.

G: And that actually was one of the nicer parts about the Lina story. She was really present for Jane’s physical realities, casually so.

R: And it makes it funny!

G: Which it is! It’s hilarious! You can recognize the absolute hilarity of human bodies without mocking the humans they belong to! Revelation!!

R: I feel like they’re exploring the rich trove of body humor and body drama that comes with women’s bodies, in a way that has been widely and deeply explored before with d*ck and fart jokes.

G: Yeah, that’s quality.

What's coming in these questions of custody? We'll see next week!
What’s coming in these questions of custody? We’ll see next week!