Diablog: Jane the Virgin, S2 E21

Mutter: wrapped and dangerous?
Starring Mutter as HOUDINI!

Rasha: Are we looking at a villain reboot?

Gemma: It would appear so, although I would not be surprised if there were a deeper Mutter game afoot. I’m thinking Susanna’s a double agent.

You heard it here first, kids.
You heard it here first, kids.

R: I was waiting for someone to have a gun to her head when she was talking in the car.

G: They’re holding that for next week.

R: Too much coy misdirection has me uncertain at this point whether some German connection will come back around, or if that was just when Rose and Mutter weren’t clearly on the same side. Which I guess they weren’t on the same page of keeping Rose alive.

G: Yeah, they’re dropping threads like TGW up in heah.

R: And Debbie Allen shows up for just a cameo?? Can she be a crime matriarch? Or a superheroine matriarch? Or will she be twins?

G: My hope for #LesbianCrimeMatriarchy is still alive, goddamnit. Although I can’t say I’m tremendously excited yet about the Grand Evil Magda-Anneszka Anti-Petra Conspiracy.

R: Bugh. It gives me indigestion.

G: Ditto. Magda is getting too one-note.

Too one-eyed, one-handed one-note.
Too one-eyed, one-handed one-note.

R: I was actually feeling Petra in this episode pretty hard. Jane’s control freak antics and self-righteousness did not make me root for her.

G: Point: Jane was being kind of a doucheparade. Counterpoint: Good Petra is boring.

See? Even this image is boring.
See? Even this image is boring.

R: Maybe Petra could develop emotional intelligence and be able to talk about her feelings while also masterminding a counter-crime matriarchy. Elsa and Anna become special agents!

G: I think I might be ready for JTV: TNG. Mateo, Elsa, and Anna as the counter-crime supremacy!

R: Right? Having to navigate their troubled family ties while striving toward open communication among themselves and leaving behind the bad habits of their parents. They will definitely have cool technology. I have to be honest that I could quit this show right now and not miss it at all. Well, except maybe for Rogelio.

Yeah, we didn't even discuss Rogelio's stubborn and determined turn as a labor organizer, which was actually kind of neat. Si se puede!
Yeah, we didn’t even discuss Rogelio’s stubborn and determined turn as a labor organizer, which was actually kind of neat. Si se puede!

G: It struck me for a moment that we might be preparing to kill off both Rafael and Michael. I do not actually think it would happen, but it would serve up a much-needed reboot.

R: Nah, they can’t do that, can they?

G: Can they …?

Could he disappear forever?
Could he disappear forever?

R: I mean, I would be fine with it, but the show is too hetero. Like how does the heart go on without the love quadrilateral? Which might now be a pentagon given Anezska.

G: The geometry of romantic deception.

R: That’ll clearly be her downfall. She’ll fall in love with Raf and not be able to follow Magda. Oh, it just became clear to me: Anezska dies.

You're doomed, Aneszka! DOOOOMED! Your mad Petra skillz will not save you!
You’re doomed, Aneszka! DOOOOMED! Your mad Petra skillz will not save you!

G: Next week?

R: One of the twins always dies.

G: Or both, in the case of Roman and I forget his twin’s name.

R: Maybe not next week, but then again, this show rushes storylines lately. Aaron? We never actually met him except as Roman posing. Never alive, anyway.

G: Well, they’re not playing all their threads out, which they used to. And as I’ve said before, it can be the danger of ensemble shows, that eventually it has to be Everybody Gets a Story Day, and it’s too much to keep track of and there’s not enough discretion re: who’s actually interesting. But it’s also a particular flaw here.

R: Sigh. I just don’t care anymore. What would we do to fix this show at this specific point?

G #LesbianCrimeMatriarchy is partially facetious, but I also mean it. There needs to be a net in which everyone is genuinely caught, and not just kind of wanting to control the other people’s choices. The threads need to be actively gathered. And I think I’m actually serious about killing Michael and Raf.

Yeah, Michael, you heard me. Nobody needs you either.
Yeah, Michael, you heard me. Nobody needs you either.

R: Yes, the trap must close. Would that require Mutter and Magda to be at least colleagues if not allies? I think so.

G: I could handle Magda and Mutter as rivals with equal power at their disposal, maybe the product of a long-ago broken alliance.

R: YES!! I will offer that Rafael has too many kids in this show. I think there’s still dramatic potential there.

There is potential. It might be dramatic, or it might just involve cheeks.
There is potential. It might be dramatic, or it might just involve cheeks.

G: I mean, I’m sincerely hoping all this weird Eastern European-German stuff is not being thrown about without intention. There was a historical Mutter Gang-Magda street gang situation in the former East Germany. Back in their childhoods.

R: Can I please watch that as yet still unturned story from WWII-era Europe, in which two little girls rise up from the ashes to rule a criminal underworld? Because I have seen every other story about WWII. But yes, Michael could die. He has two modes: Loves Jane without reservation or criticism and Pursues the Mutter/Sin Rostro case without regard to personal safety or the law.

G: I mean, I think Michael will probably die, but then we’re just going to enter into one more geometric cycle of the Love Kaleidoscope with Raf and I don’t know that I can take it.

R: Bugh, that is not an improvement. God, is this what the karmic cycle of reincarnation is like? What has changed about Michael since the first episode of this show?

G: What has changed? He used to have needs that ran counter to Jane’s.

Now everybody be like "yes, Jane, whatever you say, Jane."
Now everybody be like “yes, Jane, whatever you say, Jane.”

Their conflicts used to be genuine and have true interpersonal heft.

R: Jane needs to start meditating so that she can see the merry-go-round she’s on.

G: Jane needs fewer possible workplaces, to be pulled in fewer directions. Both for the character’s sake and for ours.

R: Right! They haven’t really argued about anything, or even had to make any really hard decisions. Because Petra paid the difference on their house. I was mad at Jane for being so hard on Petra while having no idea that Petra was helping her every month to keep their family close. To your above, I agree. I hadn’t thought about that specific piece in that way, but yes.

G: I mean, I am hoping the over-the-topness of this week meant that we can talk more about Jane being wrong about stuff.

There are so many stuffs you are wrong about!
There are so many stuffs you are wrong about!

When Michael dies, I’d like there to be an element she could legit blame herself for. I’m mean, but we knew that.

R: Is Michael going to die because Jane’s a control freak? Can the show really handle that without resolving it tidily with a monologue in the first couple of episodes of next season?

G: You asked what could save it. I’m telling you what could save it. Whether it is salvageable I could not yet say.

R: You’re right. I will vote for that ticket. I don’t know that I trust the current team at JTV to pull it off.

G: Is it still legit for me to say that the second season of HTGAWM was better than the first, so I don’t have to believe in a sophomore slump as a universal element of commercial success?

R: YES IT IS AND IT WAS AND NEXT SEASON WILL BE AWESOME MAYBE. I wish there had been a kickstarter at the beginning of this season to fundraise to send the Jane Writers on a retreat so that they could get away from all the chatter and pay attention to their characters rather than turn them into puppets/shills for Red Flavor Stores. Speaking of which, those dinosaurs were not appropriate for a kid’s party.

G: What was wrong with the dinosaurs?

R: Children do not want to be eaten by TRexes, or is that just me projecting what I don’t want to think about on my birthday? I get the heavyhanded metaphor re: Jane and Petra, but still. Creepy tone.

G: Yeah, I think that’s you. Four-year-olds really like the threat of extinct animals, and one-year-olds have very little idea what is being said.

R: Ok, no dinosaurs at my birthdays. Unless they have feathers like the real dinosaurs.

G: Deal.

If they're not appropriate for a kid's birthday party, they have literally zero appropriateness.
If they’re not appropriate for a kid’s birthday party, they have literally zero appropriateness.