Diablog: Jane the Virgin, S2 FINALE!

Welcome to the grand hall of family drama!
Welcome to the grand hall of family drama!

Rasha: This was a second season finale worthy of the first season of this show.

Gemma: Oh, good! I was worried I would think so and you wouldn’t!

R: I almost felt a little pre-tear rising when Jane was saying that when she was a girl she didn’t imagine having her father at her wedding.

G: And then they had that dance number!

R: And then they did the awesomest dance, which, I did not think I could love Jaime Camil any more, AND THEN I DID. A LOT MORE.  HE CONFUSES ME LIKE CHIS ISAAK DID WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.

G: THERE WAS ALSO: GO HAVE SEX THE MUSICAL.

GO Have SEX Jane!
GO Have SEX Jane!

R: That was also amazing. And so overdue and so right for this show. I love it most that Alba sings in English!!  Which is clearly a clue that this is Jane’s fantasy.

G: I laughed so hard at that. I was watching this in the secret room in my office. And I was all for Michael’s vows in Spanish.

R: Yes. I was like BOUT DAMN TIME, SON. You’ve been dating this lady for HOW MANY EXACTLY OF THE YEARS, and it is about time you put your back into the language game.

G: I loved their epic sweetness. Dier pulls it off, somehow. AND SPEAK OF PULLS IT OFF.

>GASP!<
>GASP!<

R: You went there.

G: Yeah. Kinda had to.

R: I was all into shipping Susanna and Luisa. But no, apparently only one lesbian on earth can love Luisa. I felt bad for her. She really loved Susanna.

G: She got to really inhabit that moment of contradiction and confusion. They gave the space for it.

R: So there never has been a Susanna. Bummer. But you were right to call her as a “double agent.” All the entrendres intended.

G: There has too been a Susanna! There was definitely a Susanna in the scene she and Rose appeared in together! Do you mean there has never been a Susanna/Luisa?

R: Based on Michael’s flashbacks, the only Susanna we’ve ever known has been Sin Rose-tro.

G: No, that’s impossible. They literally appeared in a scene together. The Rose who died in the hospital was in fact Susanna.

R: I think the Rose in the hospital was meant to be a standin/fake/decoy/face transplant job.

G: What? I so disagree.

R: I agree with you that it is weak storyspinning, but I think that’s the line the show is taking.

G: I guess we’ll get clarified next season, but I assert that Susanna existed.

R: Nah, brah, you’re wrong. And believe me that I am so sorry. Just be ready, is all I’m saying.

I wish we had really knewn ye, Susanna.
I wish we had really knewn ye, Susanna.

G: I’m gonna rewatch, but I will argue for this until they give me something definitive.

R: I think it’s clear. Rewatch and come back to me.

G: The hospital contained the bait and switch. Susanna did have a personality transplant re: Luisa in that time. Either way, there most certainly is no Susanna now.

R: I’m bummed doubly that now that the lesbians have returned they must run away again. Maybe they can stay hidden in Miami somewhere?

G: Well, we ask for a #LesbianCrimeMatriarchy and we get one. Just not the way we intended. As my friend L. would say, I guess we have to be more specific in our desires.

R: Also, I think Rose has been sleeping with Derek and he was calling her on the plane after trussing Mutter dearest up. I’m not saying I like it, but I’m saying it’s very likely.

G: I still want the Germans to get back in the game.

R: This is probably unprintable: but you may be the only Jew to ever say that.

G: I love you so much. Laughing so hard right now.

R: Maybe Derek will fly to Germany and hide schnitzels and wurst in his scarves. I love making up new episodes of Hoarders starring characters I don’t like.

G: I hope they’re not just going to deliver Mutter into the hands of the law and forget about it.

R: Maybe she’ll be PUT IN THE SAME CELL BLOCK AS MAGDA>>!KJP!O(IUJGFHN

G: There’s still hope for Mutter and Magda to have history that gets revealed in jail. I’m pulling for that.

Screenshot from 2016-05-17 19:50:55
That’ll be Rose. VS Mutter + Magda in S3??

R: And my dreams will come true. CELL BLOCK TANGO PLZ.

G: YAAAAASSSSSS. And they had magical secret Communist Bloc underground leadership history. Speaking of locked in… (I’ll be here all night, folks.)

R: Yes, well, that was clearly coming. They have foreshadowed the hell out of that twist. I knew from the moment that the nurses found “Aneszka” collapsed. I am enjoying Grobglas getting to flex a bit. Is Aneszka too good at pretending to be Petra? Surely we will see some dramatic cracks in next season.

G: Yes, I cannot imagine otherwise. Well, there was going to be some kind of identity switch, I just didn’t know when it was. And I kind of liked that they made their choices about HOW Anezka was going to damage Petra based on the setup for a terrible hashtag pun.

#petrafied!
#petrafied!

R: That was pretty classic telenovela. This is the kind of over-the-top episode that we come to JTV for, and they delivered. I did enjoy Professor Feminist KillJoy in her star-turn. I really appreciated the actress playing her in this episode. A nice balance of stern and sweet and cheering for her student.

Time to button you into the Patriarchy!
Time to button you into the Patriarchy!

G: I loved how almost nobody relented about anything this entire episode. Professor Feminist Killjoy was still Professor Feminist Killjoy. Ro and Xo.

R: YAS. OMG, Xo is pregnant with Esteban’s sex basket. And she is yet again a cautionary tale. Jane is Not Going To Like This.

G: Do you think they can handle it without deus-ex-machina-ing it in the end? I kept going back and forth about whether that was possible. It’s a quality twist, though.

#SexBuns!
#SexBuns!

R: I think Xo is going to have the child and it’s going to affect her relationship with Ro. My belief in S1 of this show compels me to say it.

G: But she does not want to have a child!

R: I don’t think Xo can have an abortion, regardless of what Alba encouraged at 16.

G: I hope she’ll think about it, but she probably won’t.

R: I hope that it is a struggle for at least half of the next season, whatever the outcome, because I think that would make for very good stories that I might perhaps even cry at a little, maybe just a pre-tear.

I was like.
I would be like.

G: Perhaps. I’m serious about the unwavering, though. People not giving in just to make a plot line move forward. That was what actually made this episode work, and what makes the show work when it’s at its best, and why I’ve been so annoyed with their efforts to Improve Petra, although now I can see they did it so that we’d be sad about Anezka’s deceitfulness.

R: One more thing I loved: that Ro and Jane rode the bus!!! I have been missing the bus.

G: Yes, talk about harkening back to S1!

R: Damn, JTV, just reeling me back in because you know just what I like.

Even I got excited, I won't lie.
I got excited, I won’t lie.

G: Yeah. That’s the trouble. They listen to us just enough.

R: I will be disappointed if Luisa isn’t back in the first couple of episodes of the next season. I want her to snatch the wig off Derek’s face/scarf/whole situation.

G: Ditto. It would have been better if Derek was Rose in disguise. Susanna was interesting.

R: Oh, wow. I can’t even. You just turned my everything inside out. RIP Susanna. We wish you had been real.

G: Speak for yourself. I am still not convinced.

R: Y’all, can we take a donation to liberate Luisa, tho?

Luisa and Raf, #fortheLongHaul?
Luisa and Raf, #FamfortheLongHaul?

G: What would a liberated Luisa do?

R: She does not need to be with Rose. She needs to snatch Derek’s wig. She should be Xo’s OB GYN and they should go out together and dish.

G: Nope. Sorry. Do not trust her to be anyone’s OBGYN no more. That was the entire premise of this show.

R: Maybe Luisa will be the double agent inside Rose’s operation. Also, Imma say something controversial, but I think Michael was wearing a kevlar vest, and he was not badly injured. But that was still stupid of him to confront her like that.

G: At his wedding? In bed? I think we’re gonna have hospital dramz. But I do not think he will be dead.

R: Nah, he won’t die. Yet.

G: Nice to see the Villanueva ladies having well-written fun together again.

R: Yes! The veil joke! Alba was a delight. They really packed so much in.

Love these ladies together.
Love these ladies together.

G: It was very well done. And a face got peeled off.

R: Always a sign of quality cinema.

Now: GO Have SEX, All of YOU!
Now: GO Have SEX, All of YOU!

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